What God has been speaking to me:
- in the beginning of the term I asked god what about term four and he dropped me this word - restoration. And I'm like, wow that sounds like a good thing but right after - i found myself hitting a rock and just felt like i was back at my old self facing all the different fears and insecurites that i thought was over. And I realize that actually those are wounds that have been dried, but are still there because i never really dealt with properly and God just wants to remove and uproot it because it does not belong there.
I realised I've foolishly looked at the effects of restoration but not the process of it - where I kept questioning what is happening and recently God dropped me Jeremiah 33 and in the verse it says "I will heal all the wounds and restore the fortunes" this is where I am - healing and the past two weeks has been the hardest season of my journey since I came to KC - and I honestly felt like quitting KLA - I felt like I was done and I wanted to quit ministry and just screw doing what I want to do and just find a full time job - but what God was dealing & healing my wounds - some dried, some raw, but are still there because i never really dealt with properly and God just wants to remove and uproot it because it does not belong there. That in every valley there is a beauty and that is through this lowest moment that I felt God closest to me and with every no I bring to God I find more reason to say yes again.
And this term I've been reading on psalm 51 because its so apt "psalm 51 "Satisfy me in your sweetness - God be my satisfaction, and my song of joy will return - restoration. The places within me you have crushed
will rejoice in your healing touch"
And past few weeks joy has been coming up and i think he's going to restore joy? i don't know what it looks like but i think its gonna be amazing and im excited -
What have I got out of KLA- what Jtee & fran shared last week to choose joy & be a daughter - coupled on that is
1. youre not here to prove yourself
2. learn how to see your leaders like.. your own parents. i found this because i struggled w authority but when i learn how to see them as like dads and mums of the house via a lens of God, I see that every correction comes out of love and not wanting to destroy me.
3. die to self. wordly desires dont matter but learning how to put my desires before him and He will be my deepest treasure.
4. the world can say a lot of things but ultimately is what god says - and i found this very impt to me as someone who is easily influenced by what people say
- in the beginning of the term I asked god what about term four and he dropped me this word - restoration. And I'm like, wow that sounds like a good thing but right after - i found myself hitting a rock and just felt like i was back at my old self facing all the different fears and insecurites that i thought was over. And I realize that actually those are wounds that have been dried, but are still there because i never really dealt with properly and God just wants to remove and uproot it because it does not belong there.
I realised I've foolishly looked at the effects of restoration but not the process of it - where I kept questioning what is happening and recently God dropped me Jeremiah 33 and in the verse it says "I will heal all the wounds and restore the fortunes" this is where I am - healing and the past two weeks has been the hardest season of my journey since I came to KC - and I honestly felt like quitting KLA - I felt like I was done and I wanted to quit ministry and just screw doing what I want to do and just find a full time job - but what God was dealing & healing my wounds - some dried, some raw, but are still there because i never really dealt with properly and God just wants to remove and uproot it because it does not belong there. That in every valley there is a beauty and that is through this lowest moment that I felt God closest to me and with every no I bring to God I find more reason to say yes again.
And this term I've been reading on psalm 51 because its so apt "psalm 51 "Satisfy me in your sweetness - God be my satisfaction, and my song of joy will return - restoration. The places within me you have crushed
will rejoice in your healing touch"
And past few weeks joy has been coming up and i think he's going to restore joy? i don't know what it looks like but i think its gonna be amazing and im excited -
What have I got out of KLA- what Jtee & fran shared last week to choose joy & be a daughter - coupled on that is
1. youre not here to prove yourself
2. learn how to see your leaders like.. your own parents. i found this because i struggled w authority but when i learn how to see them as like dads and mums of the house via a lens of God, I see that every correction comes out of love and not wanting to destroy me.
3. die to self. wordly desires dont matter but learning how to put my desires before him and He will be my deepest treasure.
4. the world can say a lot of things but ultimately is what god says - and i found this very impt to me as someone who is easily influenced by what people say
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